ADHD
Forgetful? Unorganized? Unfocused?
You just can’t seem to get it all together.
You have lists and lists and lists of things to do, but it still doesn’t get done. You frequently have to apologize for forgetting something, missing a deadline, or losing something you need.
Someone gives you directions and you walk away and realize you don’t remember what you were just told.
You are not irresponsible, lazy, or dumb.
You may be struggling with an attention problem. I have the same struggles. I have figured out how to minimize my struggles and can help you do the same thing.
For every symptom you have, there is a skill you can learn to compensate for it.
What is wrong with my child?
My child is constantly in motion and wears me out.
I know she is smart, but her grades in school don’t look like it. She spends hours doing her homework and still doesn’t get it finished.
I send her to do something, and she has forgotten what she is going to do before she leaves the room.
Her room is a disaster zone, and we fight constantly about her disorganization.
I’ve been there, too.
Although I was helping students at school, I failed to recognize the symptoms in my own child until she was in 8th grade.
I just thought she was really smart, unorganized, and forgetful. I said everything to her that I told other parents not to say to their child.
The day we made the decision to have her evaluated, I cried all day because I felt like such a bad mom.
You’re not a bad parent.
Once I understood more about her symptoms, I was able to be more patient with my daughter. It didn’t mean it wasn’t still frustrating. I had to remind myself she wasn’t doing it on purpose.
It also didn’t mean that we made excuses for her. We still held her accountable, because we knew she needed to learn the skills to manage her symptoms, so she could be a successful adult (which she is).
As I learned more about the family patterns of ADHD, I recognized the symptoms in myself, and my husband. I understand the blessings and curses of ADHD from personal experience, as a parent, and as a spouse.
I know how to help.
As a school counselor, I was called upon to help students who were struggling with attentional and behavioral issues. To help those students, I immersed myself in trainings on working with individuals with ADHD.
The more I learned about it, the more fascinating I found it.
What’s involved in an ADHD assessment?
We’ll begin with a clinical interview where I’ll ask a lot of questions about what’s going on, developmental history, and family history.
From there, we’ll do some formal assessments. You’ll answer some questions about symptoms and how often they occur.
If your child is in school, I’ll also want some information from teachers. In some situations, I may go to the school to observe your child in the classroom. In rare situations, I may do IQ testing.
Medication is not magic.
However, I do believe that medication is beneficial in some situations. It will help you pay attention better. But, it doesn’t help you decide what to pay attention to.
You can be really focused on video games when you need to be doing homework. That’s why you also need to work on developing skills to manage your symptoms.
For every ADHD symptom, there’s a skill you can learn to manage it. Sometimes, the skills are enough to help get things under control.
If we decide together that medication is necessary, I will provide a report for you to take to your physician for a medication evaluation.
“But, you don’t develop ADHD as an adult.”
No, you don’t. You’ve likely had the symptoms your entire life, and didn’t recognize them.
Or, you developed the skills necessary to compensate for your symptoms. With additional stress, or added responsibility in your life, your skills may not be working anymore.
It’s not unusual for a parent to recognize their own symptoms during the process of assessing their child. If you struggle with the symptoms yourself, it’s more challenging to manage the symptoms of your child.